Sorry it took me so long to come back and fill you in. I am going to pick up where I left off.
Wednesday Mid Morning:
For the first part go to previous post.
So, I left work and went home to find Andrew still violently vomiting and just kind of out of it. I had to help him to the car and he had to vomit in a bucket on the way from our bedroom to the car. He wasn't even able to talk to me in full sentences. He looked like death. I even said "are you going to go looking like that?" but I realized that was the last thing on his mind. (he was in baggy wind pants, High tops and a flannel shirt). He looked frail and just sick. I took the back roads to get to the highway from our house. About a 20 minute ride. I was planning on taking him to the same Urgent Care he went to on the previous Friday which is affiliated with C hospital. It is about 45 minutes from our house. I thought urgent care was best so we could avoid an ER copay. It seemed to take FOREVER to get to the highway from our house. It seemed like we got behind every slow truck or car. Andrew was either "passed out" or breathing very funny. He was moaning and just making weird noises between getting sick. I asked him why he was breathing like that and he just responded "huh?" He isn't one to moan and make a big fuss. ME? Maybe I would. lol, but not him. At this point, I was getting nervous, but I was also still thinking about work. I had been working on something with my boss and I was kind of nervous about getting in trouble for leaving. I cant handle puke sounds and every time he would throw up in the bucket I turned up the radio. I had my window down because the smell and sound were just bad. He kept turning my heat off but he would miss the dials when he tried to swap at it. He was just not right.
He would put his window up and down. He would even shake at times. When I got on the highway I started to gag. It was sunny and I put my hand up to block the view of him getting sick. I was GAGGING a lot. At one point, I felt the throw up come up in my own throat, and I grabbed for another little bucket I keep behind my seat for trash. I did lose a little. In my last post I mentioned how I learned some things about myself I wasn't proud of. Well, the things going through my mind were not great. I was scared of what was wrong with him, but I was also thinking "Ugh- when this is all over, he owes me!" yes, I kept thinking how sucky the situation was for ME!!! Yes, I was that asshole. I wasn't showing sympathy at all. I was even saying "Maybe if you would eat better when on the road you wouldn't have all these stomach issues, etc"
I would even look at him in disgust. I knew my feelings were bad.
Then, I remembered something my friend A told me. I met her about 6 years ago. She had overcome cancer and was currently in remission when I met her. She had a few health issues at the time, but mostly was doing great. She was working (I worked with her) and she had not worked for a long time before that, due to the cancer. One day when talking about her past cancer and her marriage, She told me how her husband said she OWED him for the whole time she was sick, now that she was healthy again. She owed him to start making money again to contribute. She owed him in many ways, like she would have to do all the shoveling that winter since she was unable to the year before. As well as other chores and contributions to their house. His attitude was that SHE OWED him since he had to pick up so much of the slack while she was sick. I was engaged at the time, and I remember thinking, WHAT an ASSHOLE! HE cant possibly expect her to "Pay him back" now that the cancer is gone because that is his DUTY as her husband- To take care of her for BETTER AND for Worse. Sickness and health. She agreed and it made her angry that he thought that way. After a while, the marriage ended. A moved on. She had been married almost 10 years, but started dating again. She found someone else great. Then, the cancer came back. It took her life when I was 9 weeks pregnant with Anika. I remember thinking back then before I was married that a spouse just steps up and takes care of the other if they were to get sick. No questions asked and no repayment was necessary. The conversation I had with her several years ago played over in my head on the ride to the hospital. My selfish "Me Me" thoughts needed to step down and I knew that.
I think A came into my life for many reasons. She was a great friend. She was older than me and she taught me a lot. She was also VERY educated and taught me a lot about work. She also was a foodie and a shopper and taught me a lot about those things too. BUT, most importantly,she taught me a lot about life. When my own selfish thoughts of "Andrew owing me" after he was better came into my mind- I Stopped. I am his wife. He is sick- its my job to take care of him and expect NOTHING in return. Sure, I gag at the sound or vision of throw up or poop (except Anika- I can handle hers). I could NEVER EVER be a nurse. I'm not the nurturing type- except for Anika. and even with her, I KNOW I could do better with the nurturing and affection with her. Even Andrew makes jokes about it...and my mom says stuff too. So, while i was holding down puke and trying to get my selfish thoughts out of my head- I saw the blue lights behind me. I was getting pulled over.
Andrew didn't say much because he couldn't. The cop came up and came to my window. He asked if I knew how fast I was going. I said no. That was the truth. He said I was going 90. Then he said 89. At this point, tears were coming out of my eyes but I think my big sunglasses covered them. He asked for my license and registration. Then, he looked over at Andrew and said "Do you have an emergency here" I said kind of. Andrew was leaned over with his head on the dash board with the bucket under him- not even looking up at the cop. He was NOT wearing a seat belt (its not a law here but he would have been wearing one if he wasn't so sick). The cop said "Look, he doesn't have a seat belt on and he could have gone through the windshield with you driving so fast" Then he asked what was wrong with Andrew. I said "He is sick and IM taking him to the hospital" I was able to get my license for the cop, but my registration was in the glove box and Andrew couldn't open it. My car is small and the passenger seat is VERY close to the dash board because of the car seat usually being behind it. Usually Andrew is NEVER a passenger in my car because he doesn't fit, but he had no choice that day. The cop looked at my license. By the way, he had a smirk the whole time. He was so odd. He asked if we still lived in the town listed on my license. I said yes. HE THEN, asked why were were going to C Hospital and not L or F. I told him I had called Andrew's doctor (PCP) at a clinic that is next to L hospital and affiliated with L hospital and his PCP said NOT to bring Andrew in but to bring him to a hospital if he couldn't keep anything down. The PCP said "Don't bring him to our hospital though because the ER is full. Bring him to another hospital"
I will also note here that I had called Andrew's PCP before I left work before I Knew how bad Andrew was, hoping he could get an office visit because I suspected Andrew had something else. Not just sick. BUT, since the norovirus has been rampant, the dr just assumed it was norovirus. I then said "well, he works with lead so it could be lead poisoning" but as I said that, I googled symptoms of lead poisoning and it didn't match. The dr also said that. Then I just spurted out that Andrew's mom died of colon cancer. At that time the dr just said not to bring him there. I was irate. I thought he was Refusing to see Andrew. BUT, I later found out that the Dr. called ANdrew and told him his wife was worried and to get to an ER even if by ambulance because they had no way to hook him up to IV fluids at the clinic. Since I have learned that the Dr called ANdrew and told him that, I'M not AS mad as I was. But, I still think his PCP is useless and has been in the past. He needs a new one. By the way, Andrew's mom did die of that, but it is not his birth mom, so the history isn't relevant, but I just wanted to be heard.
Back to the cop. So, I told the cop L hospital was full. He looked at me and LAUGHED! And then he said "What about F hospital" (Both L and F are both closer to us then C but L is known to be shitty and F is known to basically kill people-its a shitty town, shitty school district and REALLY shitty hospital- NO ONE I know would go there). I told him F hospital never even entered my brain and that was the truth. I forgot it existed. THEN, KNOWING F hospital is shitty the cop said "I KNOW F is not full. THEY are NEVER full. hahaha" I was like ok, fine.. why is this all relevant? HE was SOO adamant about finding out why we were going to C!? IT was so strange. Andrew started puking again while the cop was in my window asking a million stupid questions. HE said I should have called an ambulance then he walked back to his car..and we waited. Andrew groaned that he needed to get out of there asap. I asked him if he wanted an ambulance. he kind of moaned yes and I said "They are really expensive. Are you sure?" And he said he didnt give a shit. I KNEW THEN that ANDREW WAS beyond sick. I yelled out the window back to the cop (We were on the side of the interstate) and he came back to the car. I asked him if I should call 911 or if he could call an ambulance. He said "You want me to call an ambulance?" all coy and sarcastic. I said yes. Then he asked me a few more times. When I look back, I think he thought I was LYING about how serious the whole situation was. I ALSO think he might have thought Andrew was withdrawing from drugs or something because he did look like a drug addict- all skinny, frail, messy hair, bad clothes, unresponsive, etc. I mean- as far as ME!? I was in work clothes driving a fucking Volvo with a baby seat base and alphabet hanging in the back. I didn't look like a drug addict. BUT, maybe I did since I was crying and my make up was running down my face. So, we waited.
While we waited, I looked at my phone. My friend Natalie had texted and I responded to her and then told her what was going on via text. I told her the cop was writing me a ticket because he said he was. Natalie is a new friend of mine and we "met" through unconventional circumstances which is for a post ALL within itself. I have been wanting to write it for some time, but I will do it separate from this one. I was crying because I was scared for Andrew and I was mad at the stupid cop for not just letting us go on our way! ANd for thinking I was lying! That really pissed me off.
The ambulance came. I recognized one of the EMT's. Awesome. He is younger than me but I went to school with his older sister. He didn't recognize me and I'M sure he didn't know my married name. BUT, I have seen him at my gym a few times more recently. The other EMT tried to help Andrew out of the passenger side, but Andrew really needed help. BY THAT time, the Cop came back to my window but I ignored him while talking to the EMT who was on the passenger side. He asked what was wrong with Andrew and I said he has been sick for 8 days (I left out the part that he was fine for 3-4 in between). THEN The cop piped up "IF he's been sick for 8 days why are you just going to the hospital now?" I Said he went to urgent care on Friday and was sent home! When he asked why we were going to the hospital further away if it was such an emergency, I also told him I had been VERY busy at work and when I came home to check on him, I had NO idea he was as bad as he was. I explained more about Andrew to the EMT and they guided him to the ambulance. THEN, I turned to the cop and he said this "Ma'am, I Just called the L hospital and they have plenty of beds. Why did you lie to me?" ME: Crying, "Oh my God. are you kidding? I didn't LIE! His PCP told me that- his name is Dr soandso at the L clinic and you can call him!" I was watching my husband in an ambulance that was right in front of me and this asshole was insistent that I was up to no good! WHY THE EFF does it matter what hospital we were going to? I was speeding. Why does it matter if we were speeding to L or F or C!? He was the MEANEST Cop I have ever met and even worse than the one from the fire at my house. I know you are probably thinking "What does Ashley do to cops to piss them off?" I HAVE no idea. I am respectful and usually crying. I am the most submissive person when it comes to people of authority so i have no idea.
The cop tossed my license at me through the window and said he decided not to give me a ticket. I THINK he changed his mind when he saw me dealing with the EMT's and I THINK we might have mentioned that Andrew works with chemicals at work and we wondered if that was causing his sickness. In hindsight I should have just answered "We use C hospital" plain and simple. None of his business. AND, when he ended up getting admitted I was so glad we were in C and not F or L. HOWEVER, his care ended up being pretty shitty anyway. By the way, I had ANika at C hospital. It is rated "Baby Friendly" by Unicef and the World Health Organization. They are the only hospital in the stae with that recognition. Their intervention rate is low and they are the best hospital in the state for breast feeding moms. I would never diss the Baby ward. Hell, even the ER was great. But where Andrew got admitted, not great. I don't know if we can blame the hospital dept or just the dr he had though.
After the cop left, I sat behind the ambulance. They weren't moving! I needed to call someone. My mom wasn't answering. I called my dad and he told me to "hurry up" when I tried telling him what was going on so I said Fuck you and hung up. Yes, I did. My dad had no idea what was going on but I felt like he was rushing me. I guess he was busy at work. I called my friend Carolyn. She is rational. After telling her what happened I went and knocked on the ambulance. One EMT stepped out in a mask and asked if Andrew had anything. I said not that I know of. I followed them to C hospital FINALLY. IT took so long for them to leave because the young EMT couldn't get the IV in Andrew and every time he tried, Andrew would sit up puking. Andrew even brought his own bucket with him in the ambulance. We never did get that back.
When I got to hospital I waited a few minutes for Andrew to be checked in. I went to the room he was put in in the ER. He was sleeping. I touched him and he would barely respond, or he would FLINCH like I scared him...most times. He was hooked up to an IV and had a new puke bucket. A nurse came in and I had to answer all the questions for him. He would try but he got confused. I know the nurse marked down that he was unresponsive. I was left alone with him and his monitor would go off often. The RN asked if his heart rate was normally that low. His low heart rate would make the machine go off. I told her it is usually low. I put my running heart rate monitor on Andrew a few years ago and I remember his resting heart rate was in the 40's, which is low, but normal for an extreme athlete. Since he is not an extreme athlete they were concerned by this. I wasn't at all. He is VERY fit. He might not do conventional workouts but he is fit. I saw him play rugby this fall and just pick up like he had been playing all these years- he was the fastest on the field and he didn't even huff and puff like ....oh his brother who even puked from the exercise. Lol. When he was feeling better he said "If I was a paid athlete for the Bruins, you wouldn't be worried about my heart rate"
They took blood and did an EKG. Blood showed that his white cell count was high, which means his body was trying to fight something. His blood sugar levels were also high which was unusual since he had not had ANYTHING to eat or drink since the night before. She kept asking if he had just a Popsicle. He said no. ANd i knew he didn't because I know he didn't leave the bed before I got home.
He was on IV fluids and he was NOT allowed to drink. He would wake up and ask me for water. I was only allowed to wet his lips with a little square green sponge attached to a stick. He would try to suck water out and they said no.
I took photos of this but he asked me NOT to post on Internet. I will respect his wishes.
I also kept thinking that I could handle this but if this was Anika, NO WAY. I would break down. I also brought my pump in with me and I pumped several times in his room. ha. I also kept busy texting and emailing with a few people, including Natalie and Carolyn. I decided on my own to text Andrew's brother. ANdrew is private but I thought his brother should know, who also recently did a full wilderness EMT course just because he has an interest in it. He brought up the pancreas as an issue of why the blood sugar would be high. The ER Dr. brought in 2 bottles of a smoothie drink. SHe wanted me to get Andrew to drink one whole bottle by 2:30 and then the 2nd bottle starting at 2:30.
The drink was a contrast drink for a CT scan. UM...how would I get him to do this!?!? It took a LOT of effort. He kept hitting it away or turning his head but I FORCED this drink down his throat. A lot would end up on his face and neck.
I put it in that cup with a straw.
I FINALLY got one drink down. I decided to run out to the car and charge my phone because i twas dead. I was not gone long but when I came back he was awake and said he threw up the whole drink and went to have a CT Scan. I was thinking what a waste! They had told me before he HAD To drink the contrast drink to get a clear picture! Soon after another dr came in. He asked lots of questions that I was answering because Andrew was still low on energy. Then, he started to pipe up and the Dr. asked me to leave the room. I have seen House enough times. I knew they wanted to ask Andrew if he had been doing illicit drugs or sleeping with other people. BUT, I was thinking, dont they know if he is on drugs since they tested his blood? At one point Andrew was shaking so much that I told him he looked like a drug addict (From what I have seen on TV) and asked him if he was on drugs! ha. I mean, I would think I would know before this point since I'm so nosy and all, but when the Dr. asked me to leave, I got scared that they knew something I didn't. I stood outside the door and listened as best as I could. When the dr opened the door for me to come back in, he was talking about the chemicals Andrew works with and was going to look into all those. He wasn't on any drugs! haha
I prayed a lot in the room. I prayed that Andrew would get better and I prayed that Anika wouldn't catch it if it was indeed a virus. My mom picked Anika up from daycare and brought her to the hospital. I didn't want her in with all the sickos, So I went out to the car to feed her and I had something to eat. While I was gone- Andrew got moved to the main hospital. By that point he had 3 bags of IV fluids and was responsive and talking lots. He was also on pain meds and anti nauseous meds.
My mom took Anika to her house and I stayed with Andrew until late and then drove the hour ride to my mom's. I slept in my childhood bedroom. My mom had picked Piri up from my house earlier as well as stuff for Anika like nappies and food. Anika was in my parents room in her crib when I got there, but my mom brought her to me around 1 AM when she woke up and I fed her in bed and we slept like that until 6 AM when I left and went back to the hospital. I had no clean clothes and only a skirt, nylons, boots and cardigan from day before. I went through my old closet and found purple sketchers from high school. And, draw string pants from Sophomore year when I was chunkier...I thought they were abercombie, but Now I'm thinking Urban outfitters...not sure. But when Andrew saw me walk into his room, he said they looked painted on! Lol. AND the pockets kept popping out because they were too small.
Sorry, this is getting so long. I probably have lost most of you. Thursday I stayed all day with him. They did more heart tests that came back perfect. His average heart rate on Wed. night was 37. But, normal for him. A surgeon the night before had told us the CT scan showed liquid in his belly that shouldn't have been there, but then later we were told that was nothing. HE had a hiatal hernia at the bottom of his esophagus and top of stomach, but that shouldn't be causing all the sickness and could be fixed with a simple surgery. He also got diagnosed with GERD (bad acid reflux) but that shouldnt be causing the extreme sickness either. He was not allowed to eat still. He ended up not eating anything from Tuesday night until Friday night. They were trying to give his GI system a break. The ER dr said they were going to do a colonoscopy but the hospitalist said no. It could be done as an out patient. We wanted it done in the hospital though. I dont know why they wouldnt. One friend told us they can get more money for it if done as an out patient. All of Andrew's blood work was now normal. White blood cells now fine, blood sugar, etc. Even his electrolytes were fine which was surprising after all his dehydration. HE was also on meds to stop stomach spasms. Oh, and on the first night the male nurse (little asian guy we both REALLY LIKED) wanted to give Andrew heparin. I spoke up and said
"Why does he need a blood thinner?" And the nurse asked if I was a nurse for knowing that. I said "I watch House" ha. I felt like Andrew's mystery illness was like an episode of House. Most of the people we had seen thought he had norovirus because its going around, but when they found out his symptoms went away and came back and it was lasting so long, they thought that was weird. ALso, ANdrwe was in the hospital in NZ for TWO WEEKS for the SAME symptoms 8 years ago! They never found out what it was. AND, Andrew throws up more than anyone I know. He is always telling me he has food poisoning or acid reflux that makes him throw up. Its just odd. My mom also thought it was a good time to find out WHY he throws up so often. Also, Norovirus is very contagious and Anika and I have not been sick. AND, Andrew hasn't been around anyone sick that we know of. When I told them we had a baby at home who hasn't been sick, that made them think it wasn't noro as well. I mean, I know they say breast feeding helps the immune system...but really? That much?
Anyway, so the heparin shot. I asked why he needed blood thinner and they said it was protocol for patients admitted since they will be lying in bed for so long! Um...NO. Andrew was now able to move and talk. He wouldn't be a vegetable not moving. My Gram got the same shot when she was in the hospital for her heart and it made more sense for her to have it, but not Andrew. The next nurse who came even said it was a good Idea to decline it because Andrew didn't need it. Its a shot in the stomach. yuck. WTf. Its just one more thing in the medical field where they treat people the same instead of on a patient by patient basis.
I stayed all day Thursday. I was supposed to have a ski race that night. Andrew wanted me to go. After discussions with my mom, I decided to meet her there at 5:30. The mt. is 25 minutes from my house. I met her and my friend Nicki there. I did my two runs and then took Anika home. I got stuff done at home and put Anika to bed. Andrew called me that night around 9 and he was very angry. He told me he was sick of being there and they weren't doing anything. He had ripped his IV out and took his heart rate monitor off. I wasn't sure if he was really frustrated or if he was feeling too cooped up like prison. OR, if he was going coo coo because he had not had food in so long. But then he was going on and on about money and how they were trying to keep him there and do nothing to make money. I mean, I know money is a concern for him, but he seemed irrational, even for him. Then, he said how he scared the nurse and such. I had seem him with nurses while I was there and he was VERY nice to them and Even joked around with them. I told him he was being crazy and he was scaring me. He told me he was checking himself out and would wait in the ER for me to pick him up in the morning. He didn't want me to wake ANika up and it was snowing and the roads were bad. HE then started to whisper that his head didn't feel right and that he was gong to snap. OK...this was too much. He was really scaring me. I told him I was going to call the hospital and talk to his nurses. He wanted me to do that because he said he was scared too. I told them I have been with my husband for 7 years and I have never heard him act like this. I said i was scared and this wasn't his normal behavior. They asked if he drinks. I told them he is a social drinker. He only drinks in social situations. I guess they were suspecting he was a dry drunk going crazy. I asked the nurses to check into the side effects of all meds he was given. ANdrew never takes meds. Actually, as a family, we really don't. The nurse said they were going to try to sedate him but that he is refusing all meds. I said I can understand that because he doesn't feel right and he is afraid the meds are causing him to feel that way.
I called him back and told him to just go to sleep and not to cause problems or they would put him in the psych ward. (They didn't tell me that, but I could tell they were nervous too). He told me he felt bad for scaring his nurse.
The next morning I HAD To go into work. I had stuff I Needed to get to the right people. Andrew called me around 10 and told me that NO ONE- not ONE nurse or dr. had been into see him since the night before. THEY were avoiding him? He said he smelled so bad and really wanted a shower.
OH and at this same time, I got a call that our new washing machine was being delivered to the house in 30 minutes! We got a new washer and dryer a month ago, but the washer doesn't do a few things we wanted, so we bought the next model up and have to return the old one once the new one arrives. They were supposed to come with the new one LAST week, but the delivery truck said my driveway looked too "SHINY" for him to get up. THIS week, It really was "Shiny" and icy from weather. My mom went and sanded the driveway for me the day before but then it snowed and rained again Thursday night and Friday it was raining (and freezing). I had Andrew's truck at home so I figured I could go to the bottom of my driveway and meet the delivery truck if needed. I got home and started picking ice off Andrew's cover on the back of his truck to roll it up. The delivery people came- and delivered. Then, my parents showed up (My mom had Anika) and my dad helped get the OLD washer all secure in the back of ANdrew's truck and I had to take it back to HD RIGHT away in order to get our money back. My dad came with me and my mom followed in case I needed help getting it out of truck. IT had to be brought back clean and unscratched and I know Andrew as worried about being out $700 if it wasn't returned right, so I took care of that and got the credit. THEN, I continued south to the hospital because he needed me there as well. Oh but I had to sit and pump first and eat because I had done neither all day. I also got to see Anika for a minute. My mom also had gone to my house and got all her dirty nappies and cleaned them all for me.
When I got to the hospital I asked about what meds he had been on. I googled them and SURE ENOUGH, the medicine for stomach spasms (Bentyl) had the side effect "confusion, hallucinations, unusual thoughts or behavior"
WTF? I told the nurse on duty and she acted surprised and went to look it up on her own book or whatever. Then the dr came in with her (SAME Dr. we had Thursday) who didn't care about anything and wouldn't order any tests. I told the Dr (HE had heard about Andrew's "episode" the night before and even that morning he came in and when Andrew was trying to tell him he felt like he was going to snap the night before, the Dr. ROLLED his eyes at him and wouldn't listen). When I told the Dr. the side effects he said "Oh, I didnt know that. I don't prescribe it often" It was obvious the new nurses had been told about his behavior and they were weary of him. Luckily, we were able to make peace and Andrew was doing well so he showed who he REALLY is. Andrew was also being cheaky with me...and kept trying to get me to put my hands under his sheet. lol. I knew he was feeling better, but God, he smelled. We had the nurse help him to the shower down the hall. about effing time.
Andrew was also not taking any pain meds because he felt they were trying to mask his problems and he wanted to be able to feel his body and know what was going on. Which I understand- they just want to give drugs drugs drugs, but not find out what the hell is causing him these issues! HE had headaches all weekend as well and would get dizzy and nauseous.
I stayed the rest of the day and Finally he got to have dinner Friday. HE ate but had to stay the night to make sure he held it down and he also had to have a BM before he could leave.
He got to come home Saturday evening.
WITH NO ANSWERS.
HE hasnt gotten sick but he still has stomach cramps and on and off nausea.
He was referred to a GI doctor and we are tying to get him an apt. ASAP.
This is already so LONG and I feel like I'm missing so much, but I did want to say- the LOVE and Support I received from my real life friends (The ones I chose to tell) and my blogging friends is SOOO appreciated. Also, my mom really saved the day, but she always does :) THE love from an on line mom group I belong to was also just amazing. I want to talk about this group in more detail in a seperate post. I told Andrew he needs to be very grateful for all the prayers and positive thoughts he received from my "imaginary friends" this past week. You know he is skeptical about the Internet life, but I think he is coming around...slowly :) Especially when my readers or mom group friends would suggest things it may be, etc.
I will continue to keep you posted.
I have a few great posts coming up and I just hope I find the time to write them. Its been so hard to find time lately.
