Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A little of our weekend

Our weekend was FANTASTIC. We celebrated our 5th Wedding Anniversary on Sunday as a family.

This video was last night. After dinner we were just sitting watching Anika put on her own little show. Of course, it was after 5 minutes of watching her and laughing that I thought "I should tape her", so as the law of nature goes, once you get the camera out, its just "Not as funny" but, she was still being silly.
ANdrew was whispering at the end "touch the roof" because every day when he gets home he says "have you touched the roof yet today?" and He holds her up to touch the roof. (Ceiling)  ha. But she was looking up at the ceiling before he ever said that.

Happy Memorial DAY!. Outfit was a hand me down and bow was from last 4th of July that Danielle made!
Sandals were bought THAT morning at Stride Rite and HOLY cow! Kids shoes are expensive! Andrew had bought Anika 2 pairs of sandals at walmart for her birthday and well, they were plastic!  Since All of Anika's shoes up until this point have been gifts or hand me downs, I sucked it up and bought her nice sandals for the summer. They cost $27! More than mine! ha.

On Sunday out on the river! That life jacket kind of cramped her style.

I brought a salad for lunch and Anika took over. She loves using a fork and stabbing things...well, stabbing her food! She hasn't stabbed me yet. ha.

Andrew walked her around on the river beach trying to get her to sleep. He finally did and we set up a bed in the canoe. ha. We went back to my friend's campground on the beach after and had a bbq.  It was a LONG day, but she did pretty well with only an hour nap all day.  There was a group of us on the river. A few of the adults had A LITTLE too much to drink :)   I probably would have been one of them if I didn't have a baby to care for. Ha. Andrew cant drink because of his IC. 
AND, We went down to Boston Saturday and that was the highlight of the weekend. I will post about that separately later. ITS an AWESOME STORY and IM STILL on a happy high from it.
Hope you all had a lovely long weekend and thought of those who served.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Our Weekend, Plus Anika is 14 months and VERBAL!

I got an email today from Baby Center...Sometimes I just delete those things and other times I will skim the email.
The Subject was "Your 14 Month Old" They know my kid is 14 months because once upon a time I signed up for those emails when I was like a day pregnant. 
The email talked about vocabulary today and said:  ""Ball," "dog," and "bye" may be your child's favorite – and only – words, though some early talkers have as many as 20 words in their vocabulary....."Bla bla...well, it prompted us to sit down and come up with a list of Anika's words for her baby book.
I sent my list to my mom and told her to add any I forgot.
SO, here is what Anika is saying at 14 Months:
Dog/Doggy, Daddy/Dada, Nona, Mumma, Keys, Banana,
No No/No, door, banana, cracker,
bird, ducky, dog poo, dirty, diaper, all done, more, water, Nigh nigh (Night night), Potty, nose (which sounds like noooooooooooo but she points to her nose or my nose when she says it), shoes (sounds like Sues), Down (dooooown), Up, ball, flower, hat (HER FAVE!), hi, bye bye, Uh oh, titty (thanks to Andrew, but I pretend she is saying Teddy with a nz accent), doll, Ow, Yum yum, bubbles, bum bum, hot, milk, toes.
So, that is like 40 Words. Of course she doesn't say them All all the time.
Sounds: Bzzz for her buzzy bee, Grrr for bear, vroom for a ride, Hoo hoo for the sound an owl makes
Signs: Dog, more, milk
Anika was with a lady this week who specializes in children development ages 0-3 and speech. The lady said Anika has a very big vocabulary for her age!   After the bratty behavior she has been exhibiting to me, it was nice to hear something so positive!  I do have to give Andrew and my mom a lot of credit for A's vocabulary list though.

Anika is a helper. At the grocery store, I hand her the food and she puts it on the belt. My mom let her carry a can around the store the other day and she said she carried it the whole time without dropping it and handed it the lady to pay! She picks up dirty laundry off the floor and puts in in the hamper sometimes or just picks it up and looks at me and says dirty.  She also LOVES to climb everywhere and everything. She has no fear.

Andrew and Anika put their shirts on their head as their bug hats :)  I had them demonstrate for me after they came in...they had more clothes on before, obviously.

Last week, Anika had a meltdown because she wanted to wear her doggy shoes, which fall off. When we got home on Friday, she took her practical shoes off, and doggy shoes on!

Saturday, I had a 5K race.  I was nervous. I have NOT been running outside lately.  The race benefited my friend's son who was in an accident last year and now suffers from a spinal cord injury. He is paralyzed from the chest down.  WHen I wanted to walk during the race, I thought of him being stuck in a wheel chair, and that made me push harder and deal with it!  Running 5K is the LEAST I can do to show support! The end was along the lake and I ran on the docks and it was GORGEOUS!
I actually finished faster than I thought- 34 minutes. My mom kicked my ass and finished in like 25 minutes. ha
Ew. Thunder thighs. I have Gained 12 POUNDS back. TWELVE. A LOT in the past 2 weeks. Wah. Kick my ass. Kick it.
After the race, Anika, Andrew and I went to breakfast....I got veggie eggs benedict so zeroed out all the calories I burned!
Sunday, we went to brunch with SIL, BIL and the twins. It was BEAUTIFUL OUT. We went down on the docks and took photos.

One of my old dresses. Made in America- can you tell by the colors? :)

We got a TON of Anika and her cousins...SOOOO CUTE!

After brunch we went to do a little shopping.
Andrew was looking for a new lawn mower, so we went to a few stores.
At the final one, Anika was done and climbed on the lawn mowers and had a tantrum when we wouldnt let her. She also climbed into a fire pit (display). When I pulled her away and she freaked out, I Did NOT GIVE IN. I just walked out of the store and out to the car where she calmed down and then we went back in to meet Andrew. I decided IM goign to do my VERY Best to not give in, even in public....which is where I want to give in to shut her up.
We also went to a store to get a bath mat and Andrwe was looking for jeans. Anika pulled a whole hat display apart and put each hat on her head.  When I was sick of cleaning up hats, I put her in the carriage and she fell in love with herself...in the mirror.
After all the shopping adventures, we went home to plant the garden...we were planting herbs and guess who put a handful of dirt in her mouth....
She didnt want to spit it out either!
Even though we were busy Sunday and doing lots of things, it was the PERFECT Family day!! I dont recall wanting to raise my voice at Andrew once! haha. I usually find SOMETHING to nag him about, but it was a good day. Saturday I took Anika to a graduation party while Andrew stayed home to do the lawns...and that is when the lawn mower broke :(
Oh, gosh- this girl is full of it. Today at the gym, a lady came up to me and said how my daughter was the cutest thing and asked if she acted as sweet as she looked! ha. I told her a couple weeks ago I would have said yes, but the past couple weeks she has shown her OTHER side :)

Anika had a package in the mail today from one of my "imaginary friends" - it was a Dr. Seuss bracelet!!  HOW SWEET! She loves it.

Ya, I got more stickers for the 2nd year :)
She has more molars!! She may be missing hair, but she has lots of teeth!!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Randoms about Bratty, I mean Anika

Anika is 14 months old next week.  This past week things have changed a bit…she is showing her bratty side.  I can’t say I love it.  At the beginning of the week she threw her food on the floor and at the wall over and over.  She Knows the dog eats it, but the dog keeps gaining weight, and basically, I just don’t want her doing that.  Oh, it was awesome when ANdrew gave her a nice red BEET to eat while sitting on the rug. Ya, guess where that ended up?
When we taught A not to touch certain things, like the dog dish, we did redirection, and it worked! But, redirection is Not going to work when it comes to telling her NOT to throw food.  We always point out GOOD behavior and let her know how proud and happy we are.  I pulled out my positive parenting book and went to the index to see if there was a chapter called “How to teach your child not to throw food”  but that chapter wasn’t  there (Surprise! Ha) , so I actually had to READ content.  She KNOWS that throwing the food is not positive behavior because she looks at us before she does it…and even says uh oh BEFORE she does it. BUT, She doesn’t know WHY it’s bad…so basically there is no reasoning with a child her age.  I can tell her why its bad (It makes a mess and her food is not for the dog), but her brain is not there yet to understand.  I don’t want to yell at her…well, actually that is EXACTLY what I WANT to do, but I know I shouldn’t. Yelling will not be effective. The other night, Andrew spoke to her very sternly and her bottom lip quivered and she cried….just because daddy gave her a stern face…not even yelling. She doesn’t respond to me like that.   So, anyway, I need to figure out how we are going to deal with that. Andrew and I discussed it the other night, and we both agree we don't want to yell or flick her, but we need to do something effective.
Also, bratty. I took a phone call from my friend C the other night when we got home.  Anika was clingy and whiney. I opened up the front door and just let her out to play. I watched her from inside while I talked. ha.  Yup, I have to let my toddler out just like the dog, I guess.  I let her back in while I was on the phone and she got whiney and of course as soon as I hung up, she stopped!  I get it, she wants my attention...I get that she doesnt have me all day, but ugh.

THEN, my friend and daughter were over for dinner last night and Anika grabbed toys from her a few times and was being…well, an asshole.  I’m surprised she didn’t shout “Mine” while she grabbed the stuff away.  Another thing to work on.
Ugh, Anika as a baby was so easy! Feeding and caring for a baby is so much easier than teaching her how to be a nice little person that people want to be around! And, her behaviors now are embarrassing, at times! When a baby cries, everyone understands, but when a toddler is an asshole, people think "That kid is an asshole"

Lets add to the list, shall we?  She was putting on her big clumpy doggy shoes and I tried to put on her practical shoes that don’t fall off, and she had a Meltdown.  OVER shoes!  I told people at the gym this morning and they said I should let her express herself.  Oh, please! I will, but the doggy shoes just don’t stay on and they would end up getting lost since today she is with my mom…and days with my mom, they are all over the place. 

Last night, I fell asleep around 10 and soon after Andrew came to bed and was trying to wake me up.  He said he checked on Anika (as he does every night he is home) and that she was burning up! I hopped out of bed and went in and felt her…she did feel hot! We took her temperature and it was 101. HER FIRST FEVER!!   We didn’t wake her, but she woke soon after and Andrew thought she should sleep with us, just in case. He was all "I cant sleep knowing she is  so hot and alone in there"  Andrew has to get up at 3 AM for work, and so I caved and said, bring her in. But, she doesn’t really “Sleep” with us…she nurses and half sleeps.    I just went with it. We no longer night nurse, but when we stopped night nursing months ago, I said I reserve the right to night nurse if she is sick or doesn’t feel well. Last night was one of those exceptions.   She woke up this morning with no fever, but still crabby and chomping on her fingers.  My mom thinks its teething, but she never got a fever from her other 11 teeth.   She already has 2 bottom molars and is working on the top ones.
Poor girl.
(THIS VIDEO IS SUPPOSED TO BE DOWN BELOW, but it wont move, so just go with it! HA)

Last night was a weird night due to the fever, but for about 2 weeks now when she  gets up at 5:22  AM to nurse  (I wont nurse before 5 AM), she nurses and then STAYS UP!!  She used to go back to sleep until we have to get up at 6:30. Now, she eats, then wants to play. Ugh. I put her back in her bed and let her play by herself until I get up…sometimes she will, but usually she cries, so I get up. And, then have 2 hours in the morning before we have to leave! Yup, Ive been so productive in the mornings now.  Pre Anika, I barely got dressed before getting out the door in the morning. Now, I have time to do laundry, unload dishwasher, clean, etc. Its crazy…but it also means I fall asleep earlier now, which leaves like NO time to catch up on the DVR!   I DID manage to catch Pregnant and Heels though. Ugh, OF COURSE they had to make the home birth people complete freaks!!  I mean, COME ON!  That was sooo annoying.  That guy Fritz was coo coo. And then the placenta smoothie, and they made it look like clumps on her mouth when she drank it? Um, why couldn’t they encapsulate it?   I don’t think I want to talk about it much on here, but I am an EXCELLENT candidate for home birth and Andrew and I really want to do it.  Moving on.
The other night we were skyping with Andrew's dad and Anika picked up the land line phone which isnt even connected, but is still mounted to the wall. She was playing with it and Andrew took it away. He doesn't want her playing with ANY phones.  She FREAKED. Like flapping her arms and going crazy. I walked her away so Andrew could skype....To be honest I didn't think it was a big deal for her to use the phone that doesn't work, but he said he doesn't want her playing with ANY phones because they are not toys....and if we let her play with some and not others, it will just confuse her.   We don't let her play with our cell phones because they are expensive for one, and 2, I don't need her calling  people in NZ on it or something...and 3rd she has plenty of toys and her own fake phones. Ugh, I think Andrew's dad thought we were super strict! ha Andrew is the best of both- he is very consistent and stern, yet he plays with her  and is super fun and goofy like no other... and she seems to respect him, so I think I'm going to try to take his lead on this.

So besides the asshole behavior, Anika had some cute things happen this week.   Like, reach into my gym bag, pull out a comb and comb her own “hair” ha!   I have never combed her hair because she doesn’t have any, but she must see me do my own.   Every day when Daddy gets home (this is a new thing in the past 2 week) he picks her up and says “Have you touched the roof today” and he lifts her up to touch the roof. Lol.  She says new words every day, but might say them once and then not again. I’m trying to get her to say “one” but because I WANT her to say that word, she won’t.
On Tuesday evenings, she goes to the gym with Miss B and I meet her there. I get her and we hang out while I get dressed and set up for the Tabata class.  When I walked in this week,  there was a little girl about 3 or 4 sitting on the chair with her legs up, crying. I looked at M (the gym daycare sitter) playing on the floor with ANika…and she said the other little girl was afraid of Anika! Ha. I asked why and if Anika had done something and she said Anika hadn’t even been near her or acknowledged her!  I left with Anika for about 10 minutes and when we came back in,  the girl ran to the bench and started to cry again.  Apparently she is afraid of babies!! It was like Anika was a snake or Godzilla or something, and the girl was staying FAR away!  I couldn’t stop laughing because this girl was 3 times Anika’s size and Anika was so oblivious and just all smiling and playing while this girl sat by scared to death of Anika! Oh man, I wanted to take a picture!
We went and looked at a Montessori school this week.  I LOVE it for older kids (3 and up) but nope, I don't like the daycare portion for A's age. Too many kids per adult.  So, the search continues. Also, it was MUCH more expensive than we pay now and it is just a bigger daycare with less one on one...and I would have to drive further, so it makes no sense. I still want Anika in a home daycare until she is at least 2. ...I think. Its just hard to find someone I know and like!  Ugh, I Really want to stay home with her, but I also want money.  If I stayed home there would be NO savings, and that is just not a good idea for home owners. I mean, what if our hot water heater broke, or or roof needs to be fixed (it does)....we would have no money to pay for that?  And, of course, I wouldn't have extra money to do ANYTHING, so we would be stuck home all the time, and that doesn't fly for me. Ugh, its so hard. I have been thinking about work and my "career" a lot lately.   Its a sad state right now, to be honest.

Social Security released the popular baby names for 2011 this week.  There were 509 girls named Anika in 2011 in the US.  I wonder if they say it Like us or Ah-Knee-Ka. Ah-Knee-Ka is the way the NZ singer says her name that Andrew loves, but we pronounce it the Swedish way, like Hanukkah without the H. Andrew had the Anika Moa CD playing in the car the other day and I said "Oh, you used to play this song all the time when we first started dating" and he was like, I know, I played music for you all the time and you didn't care. I didn't REALIZE that one of the songs he always played was BY Anika Moa, lol.  I am so bad with musician names and who sings what, BUT It made me feel special because now Anika's name has a little bit more meaning to us... I remember always riding in the car in NZ with Andrew when we were first dating and him playing this song by Anika...
AND, THIS IS WHERE THE SONG/Video should be, so scroll back up. lol.  

Monday, May 14, 2012

A day at the Museum and Aquarium. belly jiggle

This is a few weeks late. AND, I posted like 30 something photos. I took 200ish, so be grateful I narrowed it down. ha.

Back in April, I took a day off and went down to Boston. It was me, Anika, my mom, and my niece.
We parked right near my old work and walked to the Children's Museum.
I remember my mom took my niece (K) when she 3 or 4, but I had never been. I only met them for lunch when I worked down there.
I wasn't sure if ANika was still too young for it, but NOPE!
SHE certainly experienced it!  In fact, in the 1+ year, I have been her mom, this was MY Favorite day with her, I think. At least one of them. THe only thing missing was Andrew :(  He would have LOVED It. Watching her take it all in. Laugh, learn, touch, watch, etc.  She does so well in new situations and with lots of people.  I love that about her. I'm so happy she doesn't have any sort of social anxiety. I mean, sure she stays close the first 10 minutes we are in a new place...but then she is good to go. In fact ,sometimes TOO Good to GO!  She even ran away from me at the museum! I didn't think she would go far, but she did...I had to run after her.
Here she is putting her hands in the holes to see what is in there.

There was a big Bubble Room! That was fun.

K pulled her up on the little seat.

Nona on the climbing wall!
What is also special about Anika is that she looks VERY fragile and dainty. She is a petite girl...but she is actually very rough and tough! Yes, I dress her up, but she doesn't really act like a little lady. People used to say the same about me- that I could dress up to look like a nice lady, but I was still rough (and a little crude!). ha. Anika is a tough chick- mostly. I think that is one trait people point out a lot about her...how her looks are deceiving. And, then the other thing they point out ALL the livelong day is...guess! Yes, her eyes. She doesn't like her hands to be dirty- she does get disgusted by that sometimes, and comes to me saying "dirty. dirty" with a look of disgust...but normally she is not girly.
Did I tell you how she fell out of a bouncy house at a birthday party last week??  Yup, FELL RIGHT OUT on her face, but just got up, brushed herself off and wanted to get back in! lol.  IM sure others were horrified I didnt go running....to be honest, I actually didnt see it happen because I was stuffing my face! Haha. It made me realize- maybe the fact that I have actually missed Anika take falls is why there is no reaction- her mother is so god damn oblivious!
Back to the museum, We went into a portion that was ONLY for 0-3 year olds, so we went in and my mom and niece went to do soemthing else. ANika walked right over and picked up these little animals (You can kind of see them in her hands) and said "GRRR" holding the bear up.   She loves a book called Growl goes the bear. I couldn't believe she knew what the bear was and made the connection.  I know, I just forget that this age knows so much, and I'm always shocked by it. Im pretty sure from here on out, I will continue to drop my jaw when she does stuff like that.
Right after this, she ran over to a little doll Across the room, took the hat off the baby doll and ran it over to me, "Hat! HAT! HAT!"  YES, a WHOLE GOSH darn museum of fun things- and the girl wants the damn hat!
I finally pulled that hat off of her...and she decided to go on this little climby bridge thing..
See, Anika's little hand ...yes, this bigger girl was jumping up and down shaking the bridge when Anika was trying to cross it.  Anika was actually enjoying the bounce and holding on to the fence trying to walk across it, but still smiling...i wish i got a video. Then the yellow shirt girl decided jumping in the middle was boring, so she started to RUN back and forth, as if ANika was not even there. And, yes, Anika fell down, or shall I say, was pushed down.   I was there, but Anika honestly didn't seem phased, so I stood  and observed (and took photos). Now, some people definitely gave me looks like they thought I was crazy for not telling the big girl to stop or to reach in and pull Anika out, but that's me. I give Anika a chance- obviously if she looked scared or needed help, Id scoop my baby right up. I would be there if she looked at me for help. She didnt.  OTHER parents were looking at me waiting for me to freak out. They were like "WHERE is this girls parents?!" about yellow shirt girl. I just shrugged...ANika had a smile on her face and seemed to enjoy the adventure!  ALL DAMN day people were asking me how old she was because apparently her size throws people off. Also, apparently, most parents don't dress their kids in dresses for such a place of play! ha. We had other plans for our trip to Boston- not just the children's museum, so ya, we were dressed fancy :)

Then, we went over to the little "House" where she cooked and tried to stuff a HUGE plastic steak in her mouth.  I am not posting pics of other kids if I can help it, but she was playing with other kids too!  Sometimes I am SOOO awkward in these situations. My mom was off with K and the parents of other kids talked to Anika. I never talk to other kids...should I do that?   I dont know what I'm supposed to do. Or, when they give ANika compliments- AM I Supposed to respond FOR her??!  

There was a dress up corner. Anika kept bringing me this costume. I was thinking- how many other kids have worn this...but she was persistent, so I dressed her up! lol.
By the way- I AM SOOO GLAD we did not go to this place during cold or flu season. HOLY germs it would have been! Kids touching EVERYTHING.

The play doh station. The lady was all "Dont worry, all the ingredients are edible"  OH, ya- IM not worried about the INGREDIENTS- I'm more worried with ALL 500 other grubby hands who played with this first...and as I said it (or thought it), a piece went into Anika's mouth and I POUNCED ON That and had my finger deep throating her trying to scoop out the piece of play doh.  Ya- my logic is off- I get that..."Oh, its ok, big kids can knock you down Anika, but Germy play doh in your mouth? Absolutely NOT!"
HA. I did get the recipe though...and the chunk of germ filled play doh out of her mouth....with MY finger that was also probably disgusting from touching everything.

This is when she was picking her piece for her mouth...she figured "Mom's got that camera in her face, she wont be quick enough to stop me..."

And, back to climbing and running around in there. At one point she was off in there and i was getting nervous I would have to get my fat ass in there...she doesn't always like to come when I call her (Ya, I have a dog named Piri who plays the same "game" with me)...IM pretty sure I'm over the weight limit to get in there, so I'm glad she came to my rustle of the treat bag. JK.

Bathroom break...

There was a room dedicated to sand (no pics) and then a room of water.

A fake air plane (no pics) and a fake School bus, above.

Pointing to Daddy's Country, NZ.

Playing with Magnets!! The people who worked there were SOO great!  They would engage with Anika even though she looks like a baby and I really loved that.

Different poops.
And, there was so much more, but you get the point.  It was awesome and I cant wait to go back and bring Andrew so he can experience the joy of watching our little girl take it all in.

After that, we walked down to my old work and had lunch with my old boss and work mate.  By then, you can probably imagine Anika was a bit tired. So, ya...THANK GOD for My mom. She kept Anika busy at her end of the table so I was able to socialize and catch up with my work people at our end of the table.  Then, my mom took K and Anika out after lunch and walked around while I finished up.
Us in front of One of my old work buildings. NOt my last job before moving to the sticks, but the one before that.  Nona got Anika to fall asleep in her stroller,  Where she napped while we walked down to the Aquarium.
My mom and niece went into the IMAX for a movie and Anika and I walked through the financial district...which was bitter sweet for me...walking the same streets I used to walk to work passing all the business people while I pushed my baby in a carriage.
We went through Faneuil Hall and Anika got a little bow...for her to wear when she gets hair!
THEN, we went to meet Nona and K back at the aquarium.
AS soon as we walked in,  there were penguins and Anika said "Hoo Hoo"
WhICH is the sound she makes for owls!! She thought the penguins were owls.

She also pulled a girl's pony tail in the aquarium.
This was outside while we were waiting. She was running around like a wild child.
 Actually, she made a friend out there...the dad was a hippie dad and we chatted.

look at her- smiling at the sea lions (above)

 My mom couldn't believe how interested she was in everything- so engaged. I remember going to the aquarium as a kid and being bored out of my mind! lol.

Touching a stingray.

After that, my niece wanted to go on the swan boats, but it was getting late in the day so we settled on walking down to the North End and going to Mike's Pastry for some treats.  We walked in and I started to order and the Italian lady behind the counter handed Anika an Italian cookie....ugh...I froze...and Anika took it out of her hand and put it right into her mouth- all while I was frozen....and then, I just smiled and I let it be.  These are the situations, I have to let be!  I didn't want Anika having a sugar cookie, but you know what? It was a special day and a special occasion...and, I Let It Be. And just so you know..I remember thinking about that later in the day when I told Andrew how I didn't want to be rude to the little Italian lady, and how I stressed for a few minutes, but then, I LET IT BE. ...and Ive thought about that phrase a few times since- "Let It Be".  Oddly enough, I just found out my Uncle's favorite song is Let It Be and my cousin's wife sang it at the funeral....so, ya, that's my new motto when I start to get uptight.

Not to mention, while I was all "I Dont want Anika to have a cookie"  people were probably looking at me like, "GET a jacket on that baby!"  I SWEAR Anika runs warm just like me! lol. She would tell me if she was cold! Thinking back, she should have had a jacket. It was quite windy that day.

SO, that my friends, was a GREAT DAY!

Oh, actually, when we finally got back to the car, my mom asked me if she could take a right out of the lot and I said yes (Used to be able to) but she started going and it was a ONE WAY STREET! She started freaking out and even said some Swear words and as she said the swear words, Anika's little voice in the back seat said "No. No" and I mean obviously her timing was ironic.   I think I might have told this story. Sorry if I have.
And, to end this HAPPY post with some sad.
Miss B told me this morning that she is going back to her professional career...meaning I need to find new child care for Anika. If I think about it, I will cry.   I am really upset.  I have a couple months. I'm scared to death to put her in a regular daycare and Its hard to find someone I trust!  This is really bothering me.  I am going to go look at a Montessori school later this week, but we really wanted to wait until she was older for that. boo.

ANd, do you know HOW Many people find this blog by googling things like "post partum belly" or post baby flabby belly.
UM, ya. from that before pic I posted a while ago I guess. how embarrassing!