Thursday, May 17, 2012

Randoms about Bratty, I mean Anika

Anika is 14 months old next week.  This past week things have changed a bit…she is showing her bratty side.  I can’t say I love it.  At the beginning of the week she threw her food on the floor and at the wall over and over.  She Knows the dog eats it, but the dog keeps gaining weight, and basically, I just don’t want her doing that.  Oh, it was awesome when ANdrew gave her a nice red BEET to eat while sitting on the rug. Ya, guess where that ended up?
When we taught A not to touch certain things, like the dog dish, we did redirection, and it worked! But, redirection is Not going to work when it comes to telling her NOT to throw food.  We always point out GOOD behavior and let her know how proud and happy we are.  I pulled out my positive parenting book and went to the index to see if there was a chapter called “How to teach your child not to throw food”  but that chapter wasn’t  there (Surprise! Ha) , so I actually had to READ content.  She KNOWS that throwing the food is not positive behavior because she looks at us before she does it…and even says uh oh BEFORE she does it. BUT, She doesn’t know WHY it’s bad…so basically there is no reasoning with a child her age.  I can tell her why its bad (It makes a mess and her food is not for the dog), but her brain is not there yet to understand.  I don’t want to yell at her…well, actually that is EXACTLY what I WANT to do, but I know I shouldn’t. Yelling will not be effective. The other night, Andrew spoke to her very sternly and her bottom lip quivered and she cried….just because daddy gave her a stern face…not even yelling. She doesn’t respond to me like that.   So, anyway, I need to figure out how we are going to deal with that. Andrew and I discussed it the other night, and we both agree we don't want to yell or flick her, but we need to do something effective.
Also, bratty. I took a phone call from my friend C the other night when we got home.  Anika was clingy and whiney. I opened up the front door and just let her out to play. I watched her from inside while I talked. ha.  Yup, I have to let my toddler out just like the dog, I guess.  I let her back in while I was on the phone and she got whiney and of course as soon as I hung up, she stopped!  I get it, she wants my attention...I get that she doesnt have me all day, but ugh.

THEN, my friend and daughter were over for dinner last night and Anika grabbed toys from her a few times and was being…well, an asshole.  I’m surprised she didn’t shout “Mine” while she grabbed the stuff away.  Another thing to work on.
Ugh, Anika as a baby was so easy! Feeding and caring for a baby is so much easier than teaching her how to be a nice little person that people want to be around! And, her behaviors now are embarrassing, at times! When a baby cries, everyone understands, but when a toddler is an asshole, people think "That kid is an asshole"

Lets add to the list, shall we?  She was putting on her big clumpy doggy shoes and I tried to put on her practical shoes that don’t fall off, and she had a Meltdown.  OVER shoes!  I told people at the gym this morning and they said I should let her express herself.  Oh, please! I will, but the doggy shoes just don’t stay on and they would end up getting lost since today she is with my mom…and days with my mom, they are all over the place. 

Last night, I fell asleep around 10 and soon after Andrew came to bed and was trying to wake me up.  He said he checked on Anika (as he does every night he is home) and that she was burning up! I hopped out of bed and went in and felt her…she did feel hot! We took her temperature and it was 101. HER FIRST FEVER!!   We didn’t wake her, but she woke soon after and Andrew thought she should sleep with us, just in case. He was all "I cant sleep knowing she is  so hot and alone in there"  Andrew has to get up at 3 AM for work, and so I caved and said, bring her in. But, she doesn’t really “Sleep” with us…she nurses and half sleeps.    I just went with it. We no longer night nurse, but when we stopped night nursing months ago, I said I reserve the right to night nurse if she is sick or doesn’t feel well. Last night was one of those exceptions.   She woke up this morning with no fever, but still crabby and chomping on her fingers.  My mom thinks its teething, but she never got a fever from her other 11 teeth.   She already has 2 bottom molars and is working on the top ones.
Poor girl.
(THIS VIDEO IS SUPPOSED TO BE DOWN BELOW, but it wont move, so just go with it! HA)

Last night was a weird night due to the fever, but for about 2 weeks now when she  gets up at 5:22  AM to nurse  (I wont nurse before 5 AM), she nurses and then STAYS UP!!  She used to go back to sleep until we have to get up at 6:30. Now, she eats, then wants to play. Ugh. I put her back in her bed and let her play by herself until I get up…sometimes she will, but usually she cries, so I get up. And, then have 2 hours in the morning before we have to leave! Yup, Ive been so productive in the mornings now.  Pre Anika, I barely got dressed before getting out the door in the morning. Now, I have time to do laundry, unload dishwasher, clean, etc. Its crazy…but it also means I fall asleep earlier now, which leaves like NO time to catch up on the DVR!   I DID manage to catch Pregnant and Heels though. Ugh, OF COURSE they had to make the home birth people complete freaks!!  I mean, COME ON!  That was sooo annoying.  That guy Fritz was coo coo. And then the placenta smoothie, and they made it look like clumps on her mouth when she drank it? Um, why couldn’t they encapsulate it?   I don’t think I want to talk about it much on here, but I am an EXCELLENT candidate for home birth and Andrew and I really want to do it.  Moving on.
The other night we were skyping with Andrew's dad and Anika picked up the land line phone which isnt even connected, but is still mounted to the wall. She was playing with it and Andrew took it away. He doesn't want her playing with ANY phones.  She FREAKED. Like flapping her arms and going crazy. I walked her away so Andrew could skype....To be honest I didn't think it was a big deal for her to use the phone that doesn't work, but he said he doesn't want her playing with ANY phones because they are not toys....and if we let her play with some and not others, it will just confuse her.   We don't let her play with our cell phones because they are expensive for one, and 2, I don't need her calling  people in NZ on it or something...and 3rd she has plenty of toys and her own fake phones. Ugh, I think Andrew's dad thought we were super strict! ha Andrew is the best of both- he is very consistent and stern, yet he plays with her  and is super fun and goofy like no other... and she seems to respect him, so I think I'm going to try to take his lead on this.

So besides the asshole behavior, Anika had some cute things happen this week.   Like, reach into my gym bag, pull out a comb and comb her own “hair” ha!   I have never combed her hair because she doesn’t have any, but she must see me do my own.   Every day when Daddy gets home (this is a new thing in the past 2 week) he picks her up and says “Have you touched the roof today” and he lifts her up to touch the roof. Lol.  She says new words every day, but might say them once and then not again. I’m trying to get her to say “one” but because I WANT her to say that word, she won’t.
On Tuesday evenings, she goes to the gym with Miss B and I meet her there. I get her and we hang out while I get dressed and set up for the Tabata class.  When I walked in this week,  there was a little girl about 3 or 4 sitting on the chair with her legs up, crying. I looked at M (the gym daycare sitter) playing on the floor with ANika…and she said the other little girl was afraid of Anika! Ha. I asked why and if Anika had done something and she said Anika hadn’t even been near her or acknowledged her!  I left with Anika for about 10 minutes and when we came back in,  the girl ran to the bench and started to cry again.  Apparently she is afraid of babies!! It was like Anika was a snake or Godzilla or something, and the girl was staying FAR away!  I couldn’t stop laughing because this girl was 3 times Anika’s size and Anika was so oblivious and just all smiling and playing while this girl sat by scared to death of Anika! Oh man, I wanted to take a picture!
We went and looked at a Montessori school this week.  I LOVE it for older kids (3 and up) but nope, I don't like the daycare portion for A's age. Too many kids per adult.  So, the search continues. Also, it was MUCH more expensive than we pay now and it is just a bigger daycare with less one on one...and I would have to drive further, so it makes no sense. I still want Anika in a home daycare until she is at least 2. ...I think. Its just hard to find someone I know and like!  Ugh, I Really want to stay home with her, but I also want money.  If I stayed home there would be NO savings, and that is just not a good idea for home owners. I mean, what if our hot water heater broke, or or roof needs to be fixed (it does)....we would have no money to pay for that?  And, of course, I wouldn't have extra money to do ANYTHING, so we would be stuck home all the time, and that doesn't fly for me. Ugh, its so hard. I have been thinking about work and my "career" a lot lately.   Its a sad state right now, to be honest.

Social Security released the popular baby names for 2011 this week.  There were 509 girls named Anika in 2011 in the US.  I wonder if they say it Like us or Ah-Knee-Ka. Ah-Knee-Ka is the way the NZ singer says her name that Andrew loves, but we pronounce it the Swedish way, like Hanukkah without the H. Andrew had the Anika Moa CD playing in the car the other day and I said "Oh, you used to play this song all the time when we first started dating" and he was like, I know, I played music for you all the time and you didn't care. I didn't REALIZE that one of the songs he always played was BY Anika Moa, lol.  I am so bad with musician names and who sings what, BUT It made me feel special because now Anika's name has a little bit more meaning to us... I remember always riding in the car in NZ with Andrew when we were first dating and him playing this song by Anika...
AND, THIS IS WHERE THE SONG/Video should be, so scroll back up. lol.  


  1. I can't get over the little girl at the gym - so strange/funny/sad all at the same time! Every kid has their bratty times - EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM - so I'm sure if you continue with positive reinforcement and then whatever else you and Andrew decide to do if you are consistent together on it you'll be successful!:)
    I've heard cutting molars can send kids right over the edge...hope they come in quickly for her:(

  2. Please tell me you saw modern family this week??? The couple with the little girl were using this "redirecting." it worked really freaking well! Ha. Please tell me you say "no." have a fun weekend!

  3. Our dr said teething fever is 101.5 or lower and especially with molars and fang teeth. That is probably what it is :)
    lexi has a bratty stage too! It drives me crazy sometimes bc she is soooooo bad! And then other times she is perfect.

  4. Chase has started throwing little fits when we close doors or take things away from him. I just let him. I figure when he realizes that he doesn't get what he wants that way maybe he will stop. It is usually when he is tired too. It is tough to be on the same page about what you allow them to do. Since I'm at home with Chase all day I let him get into more stuff because I don't want to be saying no all day. But when Curtis is home he tells him no to stuff I let him do. Poor kid. I think throwing the food on the ground is normal? We don't have a dog and that's kind of how Chase tells us he is done eating. I follow two great pages on facebook. I'll email you the links. They might have advice on the throwing. I know you have to teach them how to act at home and we probably don't want him throwing food at a restaurant!